10 Go-To Vegetarian Meals (at Un-Vegetarian Restaurants)

Call us crazy, but we believe that vegetarians need not eat in shame, surrounded by only their own kind. Since we're not the kind of whiny overly-political vegetarians that alienate normal people, we actually have friends. And many of them are omnivores. And we like going out to eat with them as long as they're not ripping meat off a bone with their teeth, because frankly, that's disgusting. That said, here are some of our much-revisited meals on the menu at un-vegetarian haunts.

Steamed Dumplings @ Talent Thai Kitchen
210 E. 34th st., Manhattan
Steamed dumplings. Yawn, right? Wrong, bitches! These babies look like regular lame-ass veggie dumplings, but they’re stuffed with ground peanuts, turnips and onions. Welcome your mouth to its own personal peanut explosion; pair them with the spicy, lemongrassy vegetarian Tom Yum soup for a well-balanced meal.

Paneer Tikka Roll @ Roomali
97 Lexington Ave., Manhattan
Roti Rolls are what would happen if Indian food and a burrito had a baby! This one is filled with homemade Indian cheese and creamy coriander tomato sauce. Filling, spicy, comforting. And it comes with an amazing side of mysteriously magical cilantro sauce that you have to try not to suck down like a Jaeger shot.

Tofu Pad Thai @ Friend House 2
225 E. 14th St., Manhattan
This version of the Thai staple is not greasy (a gripe we have with some other Pad Thais out there) and it’s packed with flavor. We get it delivered since we discovered that adding Cholula hot sauce brings out the deliciousness in the flavor like a fine wine does to fancy cheese. (Full disclosure: We also have a 64” TV, which often makes leaving the apartment painful.) Not a hermit? Go there, but bring your own Cholula packets.

Fried Ravioli @ New Corner
Dyker Heights, Brooklyn
The best (and only?) restaurant in Dyker Heights does an amazing thing with giant ravioli and fried. It's crispy on the outside and multi-cheese melty on the inside. Slap some marinara on it and it's more exciting than losing your virginity.
[For a throwback red sauce joint, New Corner is remarkably vegetarian friendly. The sauteed Broccoli Rabe and String Beans Marinara could easily make the list on their own. If you’re ever in the area, we recommend it. But we recognize that no one is ever in the area, since Dyker Heights has nothing to offer except for totally insane Christmas lights in December.

Lotus Root with Black Bean Sauce @ Grand Sichuan
19-23 St. Mark’s Place, Manhattan
We always make white people try this when they come to Grand Sichuan with us, and they’re always like, “Ew, lotus root?” And then they try it and feel super worldly and adventurous because now they can go around impressing people with their love of this exotic root. It’s high in fiber, vitamin C and B6, and it has a great crunchy texture. Plus, when sliced into rounds, they look like giant Honeycomb cereal pieces (or a horizontal-cut spinal column, depending on who you ask), which seriously ups the fun factor.

Arugala Shmoogala Pizza @ Paulie Gee’s
60 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint, Brooklyn
This thin-crust pie is all baby arugula, tomatoes, olive oil, sea salt, and shaved parmigiano reggiano. It’s not overly cheesy or doughy—our two top pizza sins. Plus it’s the best diet “cheat meal” ever: The crispy arugala lies atop the pie in a way that it almost looks like you’re having a salad.

Hummus Fava @ Hummus Place
109 St. Mark’s Place, Manhattan
Remember, Meirav is Israeli so hummus is her version of comfort food, and this is done the way Heebs do it best: Smooth, delicious hummus sprinkled with whole fava beans, topped with an organic hard boiled egg, olive oil & spices.
[Caveat: Eddie has complained that it “tastes like sand”, but he’s Irish-Italian, and what do they know from hummus?]

Avocado Stone Bowl @ HanGawi
12 E.32nd street, Manhattan
I guess this is what Korean people do with leftovers? Toss veggies into a bowl, add ripe avocado and tofu over white rice, infusing a spoonful of miso paste and allow nature’s microwave (the hot stone bowl) to do its work. And Oh. My. God. The bowl actually crisps the outside of the rice transforming it into a crispy, creamy enigma of yum.

Tomato Salad @ Spartan Souvlaki
6824 8th St., Garbagetown, Brooklyn
Red tomato, red onion, olive oil, salt, pepper and feta; that's it. For whatever reason, Spartan gets better tomatoes than anywhere. Are they black-market tomatoes? Anything’s possible—this is Brooklyn. But once you try it, you'll never be able to eat a pale tomato again.
[Eddie loves this salad, but that’s because he can’t smell his own breath after eating all those raw red onions. If you have a significant other you care about repulsing, take heed.]

Gnocchi Aurora @ LaMarca
166 E. 22nd St., Manhattan
This “no frills” restaurant looks like a 70s cafeteria and is lit like an Ob/Gyn’s office. Worse yet, it’s decorated with bicycle art and disturbing Diane Arbus photos and they’re inexplicably closed on weekends. (Who eats out on the weekend, right?) But this dish is absolutely amazing—adorable potato dumplings slathered in a tomato cream sauce with white pepper and vodka, and topped with the smokiest smoked Buffalo mozzarella. Help, we’re salivating.